Archive for February, 2012|Monthly archive page


In Uncategorized on February 29, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Wednesday, who knew that a Wednesday could be so good? So today I was given a level of responsibility and made the most of it! I had some amazing conversations which took me to a place where I could start thinking about my future.

It allowed me to believe again that the world is my oyster, it is what I make of it. If I just decide that everything is bad, then more than likely everything will be bad! Who is to say what I can and can’t do, what and when I should do something and how success is measured? 
It began a new thought process regarding success. What do we actually define as successful? Some say it depends who is observing. It is far easier to see success in other people and much more of a struggle to see it in ourselves. When there are so many ways, so many opportunities to be successful, why is it so difficult for us to see it in our own lives? 
Why is it a requirement for success to even be measured? Why must we always compare ourselves against the next person? This idea of comparison results in people feeling inferior and therefore having a negative effect on their self confidence and making them develop a real sense of self doubt. 
I have recently read an article regarding  mental healt issues in young people. Depression, anxiety and other common issues have been diagnosed in new high levels, one in three people experiences one of these issues. This need for comparison, for success, for recognition from others is leading to an ever decreasing amount of self confidence in each of us. We constantly put ourselves down and focus on what we haven’t done. However we never celebrate what we can or have achieved, or how lucky we are, or about the exciting things the future may hold.
So as of tonight I am going to approach my days more positively, thinking about what I can achieve, what I have achieved and what I am looking to the future for. 
Today was full of achievements, the thoughts of achievements attempted to push the negative self critical thoughts away from the front of my brain. I will let you know if it successful. 


In Uncategorized on February 28, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Today my daydream consisted of me on an adventure with several people from work. We all had superpowers. Each of us had a different superpower and I began to wonder what it would be like if this came true. 

I had the power of flight and was able to fly to work and bypass the tube. Aleks had the power to run through walls. Ian had laser eyes. Ben had chronokinesis which gives the ability to mentally affect the flow of time. Rachel was immortal so between us we had pretty awesome powers and fought the villains around town. It was a surreal yet fun dream which I very much enjoyed!

There is a line in the Incredibles when Syndrome is talking; 

I will help to make everyone super, and when everyone is super; no one will be!

This made me begin to think if this were true. I think that if everyone were to have a super power it would allow each person to have their own speciality and their own niche to fill, therefore being necessary to the overall running of the community. 

If each member of the town or village had a member of the community with each individual possessing one superpower, they would be self sufficient. The community would work together in order to maintain smooth running interactions with each member of the population. 

When thinking about this, I have realised it means that in order for people to require superpowers they would need something to defend their community from. Therefore by giving or raising each member with a superpower in turn it would allow the rise of super villains. Also, the most important factor about superpowers is that there would be no way to enforce the law, each member would be responsible for keeping the peace in their area. 

If I could have a superpower I would have the healing factor-

Healing factor is a term mostly used by Marvel Comics, usually referring to characters such as Wolverine, Sabretooth, and Deadpool. Having a healing factor generally means the ability to rapidly heal, though this varies on different levels. While Spider-Man can heal from basic injuries much quicker than a regular human, he could not recover from being liquified, unlike Deadpool or the Hulk.

This in turn this would raise the issues of overcrowding because as I save the people around me, more people would be bought into the world and nobody would die. Although I do believe that the power of life and death should not be in one persons hands. This is due to the fact that it is such a responsibility, a responsibility which is so important, not one person can have that amount of power. It is said, with great power comes great responsibility. 

Superheroes. We could leave them to rest in our imagination. Alternatively we could apply the principle to real life. We should use the idea of superheroes to recognise the good which goes on in our every day lives. When we achieve something, when we go out of our way to do better, when we make people feel good about themselves. Each action we complete has the ability to be a superpower by doing good. Lets use it to move forward. 



Wandering in London.

In pretty things on February 28, 2012 at 4:08 pm

The sky i noticed as I walked along the southbank of the Thames. It is so daunting! Remember to look up.

The control of time.

In Uncategorized on February 28, 2012 at 8:14 am

Wandering. Waiting. Watching the clock. 

I was at the train station last night after my shift and began to wander up and down the platform. I began to think about how time defines us, about how we are ruled by time. A force which we can’t see yet it has such a strong hold on us. Tasks have to be completed on time, we have to be in certain locations on time, work, lessons, travel, food and meetings have to happen at a certain time. 

There is a need for time in the respect that it keeps things clear, trains have to run on time otherwise the complicated train network will come to a standstill. Also there needs to be one clear time for the trains to come otherwise commuters will not know when the trains are there. 

But how do you define time? What made it so important? 

Wikipedia defines it as-

Time is a part of the measuring system used to sequence events, to compare the durations of events and the intervals between them, and to quantify rates of change such as the motions of objects.

But I was beginning the thought that time is just another way to control people, it is another way to say how and when things should be done. What if time were to stop? There would be a decline of control, there would be no clear path of the day. However there would be much more freedom, we would have a say in the way that each persons day is run. There is better scope for having a family while working because there is no restraints on when and how things have to be completed. 

Should we debate redoing the amount of control that time has on our lives? Could it make our lives better? 


sunny day

In pretty things on February 26, 2012 at 8:49 pm


so today i went out like an early bird to discover the morning sun. it was so lovely and warm and made everything look beautiful. so here is my findings!

Hidden elements of a person.

In Uncategorized on February 26, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Today I discovered a new side to my mum, a side which I had not seen before. After spending 19 years of my life observing my mum, the strong, unbreakable, confident, chatty person, I’ve seen a new more sensitive and delicate person.

She showed this side to me while discussing the successes of my dads operation where she let out the feelings which reside inside. As the internal thoughts spiraled out onto the coffee table at Starbucks, we had our first mother daughter time in a long time. I hope that I helped my mum deal with these difficult feelings, but it made me think; how do we know what people are really feeling?

If a person appears strong, confident, unbreakable on the outside, how do we really know what they are feeling on the inside? If they are smiling on the outside, are they truly happy?

When I appear confident I know for a fact that inside I am feeling anything but confident! But can anyone see that I am not really confident? My day to day tasks are carried out wearing a mask, behind the mask I can look out at the world hidden safely behind the security that people think that I am in fact confident. How could I have ignored the idea that other people also feel like this?

The part of mum, which I was able to see today, enlightened me to think differently about people around me. It has shown me a new way to interpret actions, thoughts and body language in a way that I can relate to.

When I see a confident person I will wonder what it is that makes them feel awkward or uncomefortable. Is it a self confidence issue, or a previous experience or are they just shy?

When I see a happy person leaping around smiling from ear to ear I will wonder if there is anything that they should be hiding, or other again are they shy?

It has allowed me a whole new way to look at the world around me including the people that I love hopefully letting me understand their feelings and actions better than I do today! 

My mum is my role model, I am inspired by her and believe that she is the strongest person I know. I am lucky to have seen this side of her today because I know that I too will be able to develop an external appearance in the same way.  

Realisation- Money

In Uncategorized on February 25, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Wow, today I had a real sense of realisation as I spoke to a customer today at work. I realised what it is that I need and how where i am at the moment is helping me to achieve this. I spoke with a manager and was told how impressed they are with me and my progress. They said I am a warm and nice person who genuinely cares about both peers and customers. 

My realisation came about after a customer and I began talking about finance, the costs of living in London and the reality of having a job. In a way we work to live, the money that we earn gets mentally spent before we even receive our paycheque! He was telling me about how he invests 5% of his pay each month into something which he loves, kite-buggying. It dawned on me then that I should start investing into things which I enjoy. 

So my first investments will go towards going to visit Go Ape which is a tree top adventure course. I am really looking forward to it and have always wanted to do it!

But then it dawned on me that money isn’t everything. The money which I earn does not make me who or what I am. The manager pointed out that my personality makes me who I am and the reason that I was given the job. Although it seems that money makes a person, it is not the only thing. It is not all about the money, it is what you do with it, how you invest it and how you don’t let money come between you and relationships. 

There are many things today which effect who we are and what we do however money is or should not be one of them. The world has changed and has revealed a commercially consuming and uncontrolled need to have the next thing, the better, bigger, faster and more expensive item. How have we got into such a cycle where what we have is never good enough? Where we are always pining for what is to come next. 

I now have a different outlook on life, I am going to try and do things differently. 

  • Invest in something which I am interested in.
  • Make the most of what I have. 
  • Not pine for the next item. 
  • View money in a different way. 


Adventures in the kitchen

In pretty things on February 24, 2012 at 8:29 pm


As I prepared my diner today which consisted of a variety of winter vegetables in a Cajun style stew, I discovered my lego chef figurine. He was sat amongst the groceries in the larder and was quite happy standing there with his croissant.

I left him there for a month or so since the last time I experimented with my camera, since that time I have not had the time to photograph my toys. It sounds nerdy but in reality it is really fun!

As I manipulate the figurine I wonder what would happen if the lego world were to become real? What if we in fact as owners, children playing with lego control the figurines destiny. We can determine what they will do, what they will achieve. Could it be another example of the circular cycle in the same respect that two one way mirrors reflect into each other revealing an endless world of mirrors hidden within them. What if we are controlling the lives of the lego men, could it be that someone or something is controlling our fate in the same way.

When we think about religion in the way that God is seen to give us everything we need, grant wishes and perform miracles, it could be that we are pawns in a game. Now I am not insinuating that we are all lego and god is controller, but it is an interesting concept. What if this controlling nature that all humans possess, which emerges in different ways from OCD to controlling what your parent/sibling/partner/friend can or cannot do is passed from level to level.

There may be many, many layers of controller and model subject stacking up on top of each other, there is contact between members of the layers however neither the controller or those being controlled realize that there is a parallel universe.

Could this be an argument regarding the reasons why we do things? Its certainly a new way to look into the world, at the way that humans like to control everything and questioning the fact that that we have free will. Maybe there is someone or something controlling us the whole time? Who knows?


In truths on February 23, 2012 at 10:22 pm

What is more scary? The actual act of something or the pure fear of it?

I think that fear is even more powerful than actions or words, the fear of something can be spread from person to person in a mere second. We are constantly being bombarded with things that we should be scared of from war, death and destruction to illness, wealth and transport issues. We become scared of anything and everything as long as someone with a status expresses it.

For one the television and the internet has the power over the human race to spread a fear which is big enough to consume the superior broadcasters encouraging them to spread the messages given to them. The news starts with the glimmer of a story which they then build on making it an all singing, all dancing entertainment medium in which people absorb. This ability to absorb news and factual then spreads to be used in entertainment programmes. Viewers become confused in the respect that they will take in entertainment as fact, the facts spread in these programmes then emerge as fear.

An example of this would be when the War of the Worlds was first read over the radio in America in 1938. The people heard the story, believed the reports were real and then began to shoot at the water storage tanks which looked similar to the description on the aliens in the story. Newspapers reported that panic ensued, with people across the Northeastern United States and Canada fleeing their homes. Some people called CBS, newspapers or the police in confusion over the realism of the news bulletins. Some claimed they could smell poison gas or see flashes of lightning in the distance.

The belief of the aliens was worse than the actual threats of that time period. The threat of war was overshadowing, Hitler was increasing his grasp over the world, but people in America were concerned about the apparent alien invasion.

As the film contagion displays the spread of fear is the most harmful pandemic. Contagion is defined as the “tendency to spread of an influence or emotional state” or “a harmful corrupting influence”. Contagion displays how people are more likely to believe someone who is charismatic rather than the data surrounding the facts.

Fear is unstoppable, there is no way that we can stop fear as it is the outcome of free thought and the ability to have your own beliefs, interests and dreams. With no control over that, there is no way to prevent the origin of fear and therefore the spread of it.

Problem Solving

In Uncategorized on February 23, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I found today that there were queues of people waiting to have their problems solved, their solution found, their lives fixed. The drive of people demanding that things be sorted and that we help them do it is at an all time high. 

Could this be due to the fact that we live in a throw away society where we buy new without fixing the items which we pay so much for and cherish. When they break, we just go out and purchase a new one without batting an eyelid. There is no need to fix the product. 

Although this is now changing, now with an increase demand to be ecofriendly and save the environment we are turning back to use what we have, fix the items we already own and therefore buy less. This is also due to the recession which has hit so many areas of our lives, people now don’t have the finances to keep purchasing new items, things need to be fixed. 

But with this increased demand for fixing items how can we maintain the services in which we fix all of these complicated devices which we so cherish. Owners of the devices now expect and assume that their device or product will be fixed, it will be maintained and their sadness regarding the loss of  their device will be suppressed. 

The only problem with this rise of consumers demanding a fix, we have to cope with the increased traffic, and also with the attitudes of consumers who expect everything to be fixed. They come in with arrogance and with little or no knowledge about their product filled with anger and aggression only to spout it at the person who will most probably fix the problem. 

The first change will need to be peoples attitude towards the situation, build up a better respect between the producer and the consumer. I think that the people to use the service of fixing their problems should appreciate the power that they already have in this situation, not demand more.