emmahevezi

Shy?

In Uncategorized on March 22, 2012 at 9:10 am

The young girl walks along, lost in her thoughts. With her head in the clouds she would be perceived to be oblivious to the world around her. To people looking in she would be seen as socially isolated or introverted as it is more important to her to imagine rather than communicate.

She has no desire to take part in excessive social contact and is quite contented in her own social bubble as she wanders through the world. Why people expect her to react and interact in the same way, as everyone else is not clear to her. She is not everyone else. She is her own person with her own feelings, views and responses.

Some cultures value outspokenness and overt confidence, to which this young girl would not fit. Her shyness could be perceived as weakness.

To an unsympathetic observer, a shy individual may be mistaken as cold, distant, arrogant or aloof, which can be frustrating for the shy individual.

However, in other cultures, shy people may be perceived as being thoughtful, intelligent, as being good listeners, and as being more likely to think before they speak. This is the environment to which the young girl would fit.

In the girls imagination the pavements are multicolored, the colours change for each person depending in how fast they are walking. The trees are all bright green after having enough water and not being damaged by pollution. In the trees sit hundreds of songbirds taking part in the morning chorus, as the girl listens she smiles, as this is the song her mother sang to her. As the sun shines over this land, the colours glisten, the area around her enhanced by the natural beauty of the sun. Animals bound around surrounding her, as a pelican kneels in front of her offering its services to the girl, it will take her across the lake to the island isolated in the middle. The water flows past sparkling in the warm light when looking over the lake the glare is so bright it makes you squint as the light is so bright.

The young girl knows once she gets to the island, there will be her haven. On the island it contains her world: a place where she can relax and create another world. As she sits on the pelican moving towards the island, her small treehouse comes into view. The treehouse is lit up with fairy lights strung up around the rafters setting it aglow. The treehouse contains her books, her sketchbooks, pencils and her teddy. Everything that this young girl needs for now is contained in her treehouse, when she reaches it she will be contented.

This made me think about how shyness is perceived. When you encounter a shy person, what goes through your mind? How do you interpret these behaviors?
I am very shy, but I come across as confident to cover it up. How confident do you normally feel?

 

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  1. Shyness is really a fear of that others might not think of oneself as one would like them to do. For example as the brave person, or the funny person, etc. It’s got a lot to do with pride… Thinking that one can be inferior or superior to others, depending on our traits. Well, we don’t deliberately think so, do we? It is just an automatic feeling and thoughts which come up… And we often believe that it is right…

    This personal trait of mine, shyness, has been a huge obstacle for me in my life, and it is something I am really trying to decrease by working on my pride. Because it all comes down to the feeling of inferiority and superiority, which of course is illusory.

    There is a core inside all of us which is outside of thoughts and emotions. A core which brings peace, happiness and love. It is neutral, it does neither feel inferior nor superior. It simply is, and all the peace, happiness and love that it brings, is more of a state, not emotions nor thoughts. When we reach to this core, we know that it is our real identity. It is what has always been within us, since childhood, since birth. It has never changed, it is who we are at our core. It is permanent, it is not dependent upon anything external. Imagine living in a state of peace and love, although negativity arises, one still feels peace and love outside of that, which one can be rooted in…and being in that core, one can make the negativity go away as it arises… That core is that which is aware…which sees without judging…

    Those who reach it and learns to live in it more and more are truly blessed, because they can remove all the worries in the world and yet (and therefor) deal with everything in the world in a much better and intelligent way…

    Hmm, this might have been a sidetrack one could think, but oh well… 🙂 It is how I am trying to live my life, and it kicks the ass of shyness.

  2. I think you summed up shyness beautifully but social interaction is important for a healthy life even if that interaction is within a small group. Those who are unable to interact at all are at risk of depression or even a psychotic break. I would say i was an introvert to those outside my group but i don’t mind that. It takes new people a while to get to know me and for me to trust others enough to let them in to my world.

    • that is a good way to look at it. i also think that i am an introvert and appear to be confident to those in my group, as you say it takes a while for me to trust people but once that trust is there i will not let them down. my world is a world of honesty integrity and loyalty 🙂
      thanks for stopping by

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