Archive for April, 2012|Monthly archive page

a year.

In Uncategorized on April 30, 2012 at 8:24 pm

A year is an awfully long time. So much can change and so much will have passed. Taking the time out to see how far forward we have all come is something we as people rarely do. 

When I look at myself on this day last year, I was a nervous, self conscious, shy school girl who couldn’t say boo to a goose. Now I still feel self conscious and shy, but I have produced a face which allows me to hide that side of me. Everyone feels shy to a point, the only thing that differs is our ability to mask it with other aspects of our personality. I think about how I couldn’t commit to doing anything, everything was far too scary and foreign. I did not have the confidence to have a go at things anyway. Now things still baffle me and I worry that I won’t be able to succeed but I know each time that this happens I am learning from it and therefore it allows me to move forward. 
Some quotes which I have collected for a potential tattoo really enlightened me this morning and gave me a reason to smile. Some are in latin and I love the idea that with the translation, the meaning is locked to the beholder. You are the key to others understanding. You are priceless as you pass on the inspiration to others around you. 
When I have one of these quotes on my arm it will remind me how far I have come but also how things which I desire will require a fight or perseverance in order to get to the finish. 
You are the creator of your own destiny.
Semper ad meliora – always towards better things 
Luctor et emergo – I struggle and emerge
Dum vita est, spes est – while there is life there is hope 
I also have this desire to jump to this time next year, to be able to see the changes and decisions that I have made by then, how I feel I have succeeded or where I have been able to learn new things. I am always changing and learning, when that stops life is not worth living for education and the sharing of knowledge is the spice of life! 

new skills

In Uncategorized on April 24, 2012 at 8:32 am

today with my day off i am going to attempt to learn a new song on the guitar. i think that people need to take the time out to learn something new just to keep their minds ticking. to keep them interested and also interesting. its all well and good having everything at the touch of a button where we can download anything and also have any answer we need whenever we need it. but in reality is this having a negative impact on us as humans? 

the way that now we don’t need to think about the answer we can just ask the internet, the large vat which holds all of the answers to anything that we ever want to know. by learning something new, without technology, using our minds we will keep our imagination turning. our imaginations are unique to us, they cannot be stolen or edited. the imagination that we have needs to be exercised to make sure that it remains healthy, in the same way that we exercise ourselves and our pets. it is just another maintenance for us. 

you know that imagination is important because you are your own entertainment. the story will go wherever you want it to. i mean there is never a downtime, the spirals of the imagination can take you from the uk to hawaii, from narnia to hogwarts or even to the galactic empire. 

let your imagination roll, set yourself a challenge, learn one new thing today 🙂 


looking towards summer

In Uncategorized on April 19, 2012 at 3:12 pm

looking towards summer

i found this photo from my summer collection from last year. i am so excited for the summer as it brings so much excitement and enjoyment. it is one of the best time of years because all of the plants and flowers begin to bloom, fruits show and make me smile

Natural History Museum

In Uncategorized on April 17, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Natural History Museum

i love the real way that the sunshine brings out the try beauty in this photo. the amazing architecture of this building which has stood tall and grand in kensington for hundreds of years still amazes me. it was a beautiful day which i very much enjoyed and soaked up as much of the atmosphere surrounding me

Bernard’s watch

In Uncategorized on April 13, 2012 at 8:00 pm

As I walked further away from the rumblings of the city, the screeching cars, the howling people, the constant bombardment of noise that is London I found myself wondering what it would be like if I could stop time. The noise was behind me as I stepped foot into the tranquil space that is holland park in Kensington. The walls which surround it cut out any noise, it is as if you have walked through a portal to a place completely different to the rest of London.
No rushing, no deadlines, no competitions just peace. There was nobody to judge me or tell me that I was wrong or not good enough. My head was clear as I mindlessly wandered the paths that zigzag around the royal park stumbling upon numerous new discoveries and areas of the park which appear to be untouched by human hands.
It makes me hope that there are more places like this. Places where I can be on my element just able to explore and think through everything that I have in my little head. The quietness allows you to reflect, only being disturbed by the birds, the wind or some other sight of beauty which you pass by.
It began thoughts of being able to bring this sense of peace and tranquility to everyday life. For me to really enjoy London it needs to be quiet, calm and open. Without the noise, the hustle and bustle and the constant need to compete. Competing for a seat on the tube, for my position in a queue, for my personal space on the pavement, for my friends and for my sanity. If I had the ability to stop time, be it for a day, weekend or even a few hours, just to be able to stop and enjoy london for its beauty without being judged. The quietness would suit me to a t. I am not designed to be in a loud environment I can only take so much noise! The world would continue to spin, days would pass, but you would have the ability to enjoy one day doing whatever you wanted in the ideal environs with little or no restrictions.
What would you do with Bernard’s watch?



In Uncategorized on April 12, 2012 at 6:29 pm

What I find particularly interesting is the ability to use, process and learn with hindsight. There is so much that we can learn from things that we have done, places we have been, mistakes we have made. At the time they may seem relatively unimportant or as if they will never effect us in later life.
There are some decisions that I have made which are still effecting my life today, some good and some bad, but they are still there nonetheless. The hindsight we have allows us to look back at that situation and decide what we should have done and also make the judgement about whether we would have acted differently.
For example when I was 13 people started to ask me to do their homework for them. I said yes. By 16 I was pushing my work aside to do other peoples work. I ignored what I needed and I wanted in order to please the other people around me. With hindsight I can see that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to agree to do the homework in the first place, but at the time I was too scared of being rejected.
How do we apply this hindsight to everyday life? To be able to succeed and move forward with life?
We need to process the mistakes or choices that we make, reflect in where it takes us, how it makes us feel and then apply it to current situations. This way we will only come out of these difficult situations on a positive note feeling good about the decisions we have made.
This is a major lesson that I have had to learn, without this I could not be standing here today. I do still put other people in front of myself in fear of being rejected or in fear of losing a friend but I’m still working on it!
How do you use hindsight?

head in the clouds.

In Uncategorized on April 11, 2012 at 6:00 pm

i had a very relaxed day today, i don’t ever like to relax although medically i think i should, either for my physical health or mental health. but for me to relax i need to be able to switch off. 

i am always thinking about someone, something, how to do something or where i want to be. there is always something going on in my head. i like to think it is imagination, but the hyperactivity makes it really difficult for me to sit down and enjoy something, to enjoy things. 

wikipedia defines imagination as-

the ability of forming images and sensations when they are not perceived through sight, hearing, or other senses.

so every time that i am thinking it is my imagination firing up, maintaining the fire in the stoke. the steam train is ploughing along at 100 miles per hour winding through the vast countryside that is my mind. 

sometimes i cannot concentrate and i get very easily distracted. how do you concentrate? how do you switch off and focus what is important? 


In Uncategorized on April 10, 2012 at 10:11 am

My train this morning made me think of something amazing. With the complete failure of technology at purley station it meant that there was no way to share with commuters what the next train was going to be. So we all had to ask the guards on duty at the station.
A while after that some of the people who had been standing there for a while began telling others what train was going to come next. Commuters were actually verbalising what was going on rather than becoming oblivious to their surroundings.
There was a new respect for each of the commuters as they helped each other out. Why we can’t do this on a daily basis I do not know! But this morning it saw people put down their papers and coffees, take out their headphones and make themselves come out of their invisible isolation bubbles.
Conversation is a wonderful thing, it is much ignored but should be made more important. I have learned about several peoples Easters and how they feel.
It lead me to think about what could happen if the whole of technology just failed, the communication system was just destroyed, would we become more social? Could it be beneficial in a backwards way?
It may be interesting to explore people may respond to the stimuli of other people and actively start and take part in conversation. We may brush up our social skills and therefore teach our children the appropriate ways to behave within the community.
Technology is amazing, but I think humans are more impressive and we need to focus on what we can do as a group and how we can move forward within ourselves.

Sunny Day

In Uncategorized on April 9, 2012 at 8:40 am

Sunny Day

as i made my way to work i took the opportunity to appreciate the clear blue skies, the way that i imagined the endless cover of sky. there were no clouds and there was nothing to disturb the unspoiled beauty that was above me. the blue sky really bought out the beautiful green of the different plants allowing me to be spoilt with the colourful items around me


In Uncategorized on April 8, 2012 at 8:22 am

working in retail has meant that i have only been given one day off. today. easter sunday. 

now to fully enjoy my day i would like to go out, spend my day with a friend, stay out late. but i have looked at the transport and due to the fact that it is a public holiday, there is NO TRANSPORT anywhere. i therefore conclude that the UK needs to reevaluate the fact that people like me rarely get these days off. people like me need to enjoy our days off, therefore the transport should be better today than other days in the week. 

but anyway easter is here, a time to sit back and view the long winter months that have passed. have a look at the things we have achieved and more importantly what is to come and what we are looking forward to in the summer. i think that easter is refreshing, not because i am religious, but more because it is a day which signifies the end of winter to me. i associate it with daffodils, chicks, new beginnings, spring cleaning and new starts. without this significant day i think that i would plod along in a bit of a daze or confusion due to the fact that there is nothing to break up the monotony of work, the current disappointment of the weather and the fact that it is far away from both christmas and my birthday, therefore the things that i look forward too. 

but i think easter also refreshes people, it gives people a good feeling and something positive. religious people focus on the religious teachings of jesus being crucified and coming back to life. other religions and countries also celebrate easter and the way that there will be a positive and enjoyable summer to come.