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Fading Away

In Uncategorized on October 31, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Today I took a trip from my new house to the Victoria and Albert Museum. I went by myself as I find that it is easiest when I am on my own to appreciate the nice things that are on display at the museum but also absorb the amazing atmosphere that surrounds each of the pieces on display. Today I started in the medieval rooms where a lot of the items on display were to do with religion. 

I am not a very religious person but I took the time to appreciate how people lived and how much they relied and respected the religions which they lived by. One thing which I did notice was the number of statues and heads of important figures were scattered around the rooms. Some of the figures were worse for wear with their features and faces crumbling away from existence. The people who for that period of time were important enough to have themselves sculpted out of clay, stone or marble are sitting inside museums as their worst enemy works against them. 

Nobody knows who they are unless there is a small piece of paper next to them revealing who they are and what they were famous for. This is something sad to behold as in their lifetime they were very important and today we don’t really know why. As they sit inside the museums and their features wear away, leaving everything to the imagination as facial features disappear leaving unidentifiable bumps on their faces, it makes me wonder if their legacy is too wasting away. 

What happens when the historians and the people who maintain these statues of the significant people leave or move on. Will the statues be looked after and each individuals legacy continue. They were important however they have passed on, but I feel that it is too sad for the statues to waste away too. 

There should be some way in which as a the public stop the pattern of people in history slowly being forgotten or starting to become unrecognised both visually and also for what they have done in the past. They have been remembered for a reason, we need to remember that. 

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Back into the swing

In Uncategorized on October 29, 2012 at 8:46 am

Its been a while. Lots has changed and things have definitely moved on and moved forward. The way things have unravelled has allowed me to become stronger, learning more and more each day.

It has made me wonder why things happen. The things that have changed were caused by negative things, arguments, loss and sadness. However they have bought about bigger and better things. 

When you want to change or know that you have to, sometimes it is the last push which defeats us. The last push is the final hurdle that we have to overcome yet it seems like the biggest and most daunting. How can we make the final jump? 

In reality do we need that final push, the one to make us tip over the edge just to say ENOUGH I am going to make a change. Today things will be different and I am going to change because it is time. Family and friends sometimes know, but sometimes forget how difficult it can be to make the jump. They can be supportive and help you through difficult times however they can also be the ones who push you over the edge. 

Even though at the time it can see like what you are going through is a bad thing and that the final jump can see like the end of the world, in reality things like arguments and the sadness that follows needs to happen as there are bigger and better things to come. These moments help you to grow and to become who you want to be. Don’t look at it as a negative, think about what is next….

Quote… Food for Thought…

In Uncategorized on May 6, 2012 at 7:25 am

Syndrome: Oh, I’m real. Real enough to defeat you! And I did it without your precious gifts, your oh-so-special powers. I’ll give them heroics. I’ll give them the most spectacular heroics the world has ever seen! And when I’m old and I’ve had my fun, I’ll sell my inventions so that *everyone* can have powers. *Everyone* can be super! And when everyone’s super…  – no one will be. 

I was chatting to a friend yesterday about the fact that the talents and the abilities which we all have and believe to be our own are in fact a figment of our reality. This is due to the fact that nothing in life is really ours. Nothing in this life matters unless it is acknowledged by other people around us. The possessions, skills and talents that we have are only important when other people say that they are. 

If you are shy and wait for people to tell you that you are good at something, that reassurance either will never come or it will come far too late after you have had a spiralling decrease in your self confidence and the belief that you can’t do something. Or you can be at the other end of the spectrum where your ego and the belief that you can do anything completely dominates who you are making you over confident and believing that you are indestructible. There are times when it is better to be shy and then other times when it is better to show confidence. However these skills which we either believe to have or are told that we have are becoming less and less important, this is due to the accessibility we have to everything. 

For example the increase in personal technology we now have the opportunity to take photographs at any moment in time, it is encouraging us all to become photographers. Each person can use their phones and then edit the instigram application which allows them to feel that they have a creative talent, now that creative talent which people believe they are ‘gifted with’ is something which is becoming less important. this is because when everyone can do something and they know that they are good at it the need for photographers declines. the job title of photographers is slowly going to disappear as the superior talents which they only really made use of are now displayed to everyone. This encourages everyone to use them, therefore making everyone a photographer. That way no one will be classed as a photographer.

a year.

In Uncategorized on April 30, 2012 at 8:24 pm

A year is an awfully long time. So much can change and so much will have passed. Taking the time out to see how far forward we have all come is something we as people rarely do. 

When I look at myself on this day last year, I was a nervous, self conscious, shy school girl who couldn’t say boo to a goose. Now I still feel self conscious and shy, but I have produced a face which allows me to hide that side of me. Everyone feels shy to a point, the only thing that differs is our ability to mask it with other aspects of our personality. I think about how I couldn’t commit to doing anything, everything was far too scary and foreign. I did not have the confidence to have a go at things anyway. Now things still baffle me and I worry that I won’t be able to succeed but I know each time that this happens I am learning from it and therefore it allows me to move forward. 
Some quotes which I have collected for a potential tattoo really enlightened me this morning and gave me a reason to smile. Some are in latin and I love the idea that with the translation, the meaning is locked to the beholder. You are the key to others understanding. You are priceless as you pass on the inspiration to others around you. 
When I have one of these quotes on my arm it will remind me how far I have come but also how things which I desire will require a fight or perseverance in order to get to the finish. 
You are the creator of your own destiny.
Semper ad meliora – always towards better things 
Luctor et emergo – I struggle and emerge
Dum vita est, spes est – while there is life there is hope 
I also have this desire to jump to this time next year, to be able to see the changes and decisions that I have made by then, how I feel I have succeeded or where I have been able to learn new things. I am always changing and learning, when that stops life is not worth living for education and the sharing of knowledge is the spice of life! 

new skills

In Uncategorized on April 24, 2012 at 8:32 am

today with my day off i am going to attempt to learn a new song on the guitar. i think that people need to take the time out to learn something new just to keep their minds ticking. to keep them interested and also interesting. its all well and good having everything at the touch of a button where we can download anything and also have any answer we need whenever we need it. but in reality is this having a negative impact on us as humans? 

the way that now we don’t need to think about the answer we can just ask the internet, the large vat which holds all of the answers to anything that we ever want to know. by learning something new, without technology, using our minds we will keep our imagination turning. our imaginations are unique to us, they cannot be stolen or edited. the imagination that we have needs to be exercised to make sure that it remains healthy, in the same way that we exercise ourselves and our pets. it is just another maintenance for us. 

you know that imagination is important because you are your own entertainment. the story will go wherever you want it to. i mean there is never a downtime, the spirals of the imagination can take you from the uk to hawaii, from narnia to hogwarts or even to the galactic empire. 

let your imagination roll, set yourself a challenge, learn one new thing today 🙂 

 

looking towards summer

In Uncategorized on April 19, 2012 at 3:12 pm

looking towards summer

i found this photo from my summer collection from last year. i am so excited for the summer as it brings so much excitement and enjoyment. it is one of the best time of years because all of the plants and flowers begin to bloom, fruits show and make me smile

Natural History Museum

In Uncategorized on April 17, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Natural History Museum

i love the real way that the sunshine brings out the try beauty in this photo. the amazing architecture of this building which has stood tall and grand in kensington for hundreds of years still amazes me. it was a beautiful day which i very much enjoyed and soaked up as much of the atmosphere surrounding me

Bernard’s watch

In Uncategorized on April 13, 2012 at 8:00 pm

As I walked further away from the rumblings of the city, the screeching cars, the howling people, the constant bombardment of noise that is London I found myself wondering what it would be like if I could stop time. The noise was behind me as I stepped foot into the tranquil space that is holland park in Kensington. The walls which surround it cut out any noise, it is as if you have walked through a portal to a place completely different to the rest of London.
No rushing, no deadlines, no competitions just peace. There was nobody to judge me or tell me that I was wrong or not good enough. My head was clear as I mindlessly wandered the paths that zigzag around the royal park stumbling upon numerous new discoveries and areas of the park which appear to be untouched by human hands.
It makes me hope that there are more places like this. Places where I can be on my element just able to explore and think through everything that I have in my little head. The quietness allows you to reflect, only being disturbed by the birds, the wind or some other sight of beauty which you pass by.
It began thoughts of being able to bring this sense of peace and tranquility to everyday life. For me to really enjoy London it needs to be quiet, calm and open. Without the noise, the hustle and bustle and the constant need to compete. Competing for a seat on the tube, for my position in a queue, for my personal space on the pavement, for my friends and for my sanity. If I had the ability to stop time, be it for a day, weekend or even a few hours, just to be able to stop and enjoy london for its beauty without being judged. The quietness would suit me to a t. I am not designed to be in a loud environment I can only take so much noise! The world would continue to spin, days would pass, but you would have the ability to enjoy one day doing whatever you wanted in the ideal environs with little or no restrictions.
What would you do with Bernard’s watch?

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Hindsight

In Uncategorized on April 12, 2012 at 6:29 pm

What I find particularly interesting is the ability to use, process and learn with hindsight. There is so much that we can learn from things that we have done, places we have been, mistakes we have made. At the time they may seem relatively unimportant or as if they will never effect us in later life.
There are some decisions that I have made which are still effecting my life today, some good and some bad, but they are still there nonetheless. The hindsight we have allows us to look back at that situation and decide what we should have done and also make the judgement about whether we would have acted differently.
For example when I was 13 people started to ask me to do their homework for them. I said yes. By 16 I was pushing my work aside to do other peoples work. I ignored what I needed and I wanted in order to please the other people around me. With hindsight I can see that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to agree to do the homework in the first place, but at the time I was too scared of being rejected.
How do we apply this hindsight to everyday life? To be able to succeed and move forward with life?
We need to process the mistakes or choices that we make, reflect in where it takes us, how it makes us feel and then apply it to current situations. This way we will only come out of these difficult situations on a positive note feeling good about the decisions we have made.
This is a major lesson that I have had to learn, without this I could not be standing here today. I do still put other people in front of myself in fear of being rejected or in fear of losing a friend but I’m still working on it!
How do you use hindsight?

head in the clouds.

In Uncategorized on April 11, 2012 at 6:00 pm

i had a very relaxed day today, i don’t ever like to relax although medically i think i should, either for my physical health or mental health. but for me to relax i need to be able to switch off. 

i am always thinking about someone, something, how to do something or where i want to be. there is always something going on in my head. i like to think it is imagination, but the hyperactivity makes it really difficult for me to sit down and enjoy something, to enjoy things. 

wikipedia defines imagination as-

the ability of forming images and sensations when they are not perceived through sight, hearing, or other senses.

so every time that i am thinking it is my imagination firing up, maintaining the fire in the stoke. the steam train is ploughing along at 100 miles per hour winding through the vast countryside that is my mind. 

sometimes i cannot concentrate and i get very easily distracted. how do you concentrate? how do you switch off and focus what is important?