Posts Tagged ‘destiny’

a year.

In Uncategorized on April 30, 2012 at 8:24 pm

A year is an awfully long time. So much can change and so much will have passed. Taking the time out to see how far forward we have all come is something we as people rarely do. 

When I look at myself on this day last year, I was a nervous, self conscious, shy school girl who couldn’t say boo to a goose. Now I still feel self conscious and shy, but I have produced a face which allows me to hide that side of me. Everyone feels shy to a point, the only thing that differs is our ability to mask it with other aspects of our personality. I think about how I couldn’t commit to doing anything, everything was far too scary and foreign. I did not have the confidence to have a go at things anyway. Now things still baffle me and I worry that I won’t be able to succeed but I know each time that this happens I am learning from it and therefore it allows me to move forward. 
Some quotes which I have collected for a potential tattoo really enlightened me this morning and gave me a reason to smile. Some are in latin and I love the idea that with the translation, the meaning is locked to the beholder. You are the key to others understanding. You are priceless as you pass on the inspiration to others around you. 
When I have one of these quotes on my arm it will remind me how far I have come but also how things which I desire will require a fight or perseverance in order to get to the finish. 
You are the creator of your own destiny.
Semper ad meliora – always towards better things 
Luctor et emergo – I struggle and emerge
Dum vita est, spes est – while there is life there is hope 
I also have this desire to jump to this time next year, to be able to see the changes and decisions that I have made by then, how I feel I have succeeded or where I have been able to learn new things. I am always changing and learning, when that stops life is not worth living for education and the sharing of knowledge is the spice of life! 

Fate? Is there such a thing?

In truths on February 21, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I wonder what it would be like if my day went the way it was planned. Tasks would be completed, things would be done on time, people would be spoken to, I would have a success if this were to happen.
This however was not the state of my day. Now I’m not one for writing about my day and the days events but when the things that happened today were in progress I knew they needed significant recognition.
I started to think about fate and the idea that things happen for a reason. So bearing this in mind I began my day waking up late. What exactly did waking up aid me to do? This made me ponder the question of parallel universes in the sense that another Emma, an ideal Emma, may have woken up on time and been on time for the train but may then have forgotten her work shirt. The world deals a funny hand as we progress through the game.
What if our choices and moves were all mapped out in a way that is planned. Everything that we choose is pre planned for us. It sounds slightly matrix but I feel that negative things, mistakes and bad luck come in threes. For example, my dad went into hospital, I messed up at work and I lost my train ticket in one day.
I do believe that somewhere in the world there is another me, making the same decisions but constantly choosing the opposite to me. This would result in them being in a completely different situation perhaps for the better, perhaps for worse. But I know if I make a bad decision, the wrong decision regarding myself or anyone else, I will try to learn from my mistake. That is the only way to stop me from doing it again.
On the way home I got on the wrong train because I got on without looking at the destination. So I ended up heading to Brighton instead of London. Lesson learned- don’t be a fool and look at the notice boards.
Achievement of the day- Many managers told me how well I fit in and how well I’m doing at work.
Dream of the day- Start saving money to take mum away for a weekend trip.
Movie to explain how I feel- The Island.